It’s inevitable. At some point, you’ll have your first fight as a couple. The good news? It's a part of a healthy relationship to disagree and work through those disagreements. Nevertheless, knowing how to recover from your first big argument can be challenging. To help you navigate your first fight, consider what the Bible says in James 1:19:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Here’s how you can apply this scripture to your relationship as you navigate and recover from your first fight as a couple.
Communicate with Each Other
Listening is the most important part of communicating during or after an argument. Talk to your partner about what happened and why it bothered you. Listen to their side of the story and try to see things from their perspective.
It's also important to apologize for your part in the fight and ask for forgiveness. This doesn't mean that you're admitting you were entirely to blame, but it does show you're willing to take responsibility for your actions.
Commit to Moving Past It
It’s understandable if things got a little “heated” during the fight. However, in order to recover and move past it, you must practice being “slow to become angry.” Try to choose compassion, grace, and understanding as much as you can. While you’re talking about the disagreement, hold hands. It might be hard and uncomfortable, especially if there’s still some “heat” between you. But the physical act of connection can help you emotionally connect and move past the disagreement.
And once you do, it’s important not to continue to bring it up or throw it in their face down the road. Make a commitment to move forward as a team. Fighting is never fun, but it can actually be a helpful way to strengthen your relationship if you handle it in a healthy way.
Keep Christ at the Center
As a Christian couple, you have the advantage of asking God for help. You can pray together and ask God to help you forgive, find common ground, and reconnect. You can turn to scripture to seek Biblical guidance and truth to minimize the likelihood of fighting about the same thing in the future. You can seek wisdom and advice from Christian couples who’ve been married for a long time. Use all the resources at your disposal to help you navigate and recover from your first fight. If you keep Christ at the center through it all, you’ll be able to get through it and come out even stronger.