Is This Moving Too Fast? How To Check the Pace of Your Relationship

Your new relationship is going super well. Everything seems to be “clicking.” The conversations are great, you have fun together, and you find yourself envisioning the future with them. When things feel this good, it’s easy to get swept up and want to speed ahead. But sometimes, moving too fast can cause problems down the road. Taking a moment to check your speed can help you build something strong and lasting.

Are You on the Same Page?

One of the best ways to check the pace of your relationship is to see if you both want the same things. It can be a little scary, but talking openly about your hopes is important. Do you both see this as a serious thing, or is one person more casual? Having this talk helps make sure you are both heading in the same direction.

Communication is key. You don't have to plan your whole future on the third date, but being honest about your feelings and intentions helps keep you both comfortable with the pace.

Look for These Signs

Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're moving too fast. Here are a few things to think about:

• You're always together. Spending lots of time together is great, but are you forgetting your friends, family, or hobbies? A healthy relationship has space for you to be an individual.

• You're making big plans already. Are you talking about moving in together or meeting the whole extended family after only a few weeks? Big steps need a strong foundation.

• It feels more intense than deep. Strong emotions are part of a new relationship, but a deep connection takes time. Does it feel like you know their heart, or just that you have strong feelings?

Taking time to grow together is wise. As scripture says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down" (Proverbs 14:1). Building a strong relationship takes patience and care.

How To Slow Things Down

If you think things are moving too fast, don't worry! You can gently tap the brakes. Try suggesting you hang out with groups of friends or that you each take a night for your own activities. You can say something like, "I'm really enjoying getting to know you, and I want to make sure we build this right. Can we make sure we keep time for our friends and hobbies too?"

A person who respects you will understand. The goal isn’t to stop the relationship, but to give it the time it needs to grow in a healthy and meaningful way.