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Should You Lower Your Standards?

Have you been single for a while? Do you go on dates but can’t seem to find someone you’re genuinely interested in pursuing? Are you starting to wonder if your dating criteria is too strict to find a partner? Should you lower your standards? Not so fast.

Don’t Lower Your Standards–Adjust Your Priorities

If you know what you want in a partner, lowering your standards won’t work. Sure, maybe you’ll go on more dates, but the people might not have the qualities and characteristics you desire. Instead, consider your priorities: what is most important in a potential partner?

For example, is one of your “standards” that the person needs to have a career? Wanting someone who is hardworking and able to take care of themselves isn’t a bad thing. You don’t have to lower that standard and be ok with someone who is unemployed. But you might consider putting it lower on your priority list.

That way, if you meet someone with other great qualities and characteristics–an awesome personality, a believer, attractive, funny, kind, trustworthy–you don’t let them being unemployed instantly stop you from getting to know them because it’s not as high on the priority list as other things.

What to Prioritize When Christian Dating

Too often, we can get so caught up in physical attraction or social status that we forget to look at the bigger picture–is this person worth knowing and investing our time into? Are their actions and character reflective of Christ-like values?

Jobs come and go. People can change their style or get a haircut. Rather than feeling like you have to lower your standards, try re-prioritizing them so that superficial things don’t hold as much weight as someone’s faith, character, and personality.

Here are six things that should always stay at the top of your priority list when looking for a Christian partner:

  • Faith in God

  • Honest

  • Kind

  • Respectful

  • Forgiving

  • Patient

You can learn a lot about someone by having meaningful conversations and not writing them off simply because they’re not your typical type. Of course, it’s a bonus if the person ticks some or all of your other boxes and “standards” as well–but who they are at their core should always be the number one priority.



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