The Dos and Don’ts of Messaging First on a Dating App

You know that feeling of excitement when you get a notification saying you matched with the super cute girl or guy you swiped right on? And then you know that feeling of nervousness that immediately follows when you think about the best way to start a conversation with them? Well, here are the dos and don’ts of messaging first on a dating app to help you give a great first impression.


DO Start with a Question


Starting your message with a question is always a great idea because it engages the other person from the start. Plus, it shows them you are interested in getting to know more about them. While interesting and clever questions are intriguing, don’t feel like you have to be super witty to get a response. Sometimes a simple question about their day or how their online dating experience is going is enough to get the conversation started.


DON’T Start With Just “Hello”


The number one thing you should stay away from when messaging someone for the first time on a dating app is a simple “Hello.” It’s boring and impersonal, and you are less likely to get a response than with a more personalized and intentional message. Sure, you can start with the word “Hello,” but be sure to add something else to it.


DO Start By Mentioning Something that Interested You in Their Profile


Did they have a really great Bible verse in their bio? Did they mention a love for animals or their favorite pastime activity? To come up with a great first message, first, read their bio. Then, come up with a question related to something they mentioned. This shows that you are attentive and intentional. The thoughtfulness is sure to catch their eye and warrant a response.


DON’T Send Overly Suggestive Messages


While some people may like a cheesy Christian pick-up line to get the conversation started, it’s best to keep things PG for a first message. It’s definitely OK to mention that you find them attractive, but just know that being too upfront about your physical attraction to the person may be a turn-off. If you’re looking for a real relationship, your first message should reflect your serious interest in the person, not just their appearance.


DO Start By Mentioning a Commonality Between You


As you’re reading your match’s profile before sending them the first message, pay attention to any commonalities you might have. This is a great way to connect from the start. When you have a shared interest, you already have something to chat about that you both enjoy.


DO Have Fun with It


Sending the first message on a dating app can feel intimidating, but try to have fun with it. Be yourself and show your interest in getting to know the other person. Make a good impression by personalizing each message and opening with a question to start the conversation off on the right foot. Who knows, one day you may be telling your grandkids the very first thing you said to their grandma or grandpa!