The Dos and Don'ts of Venting to a Friend: Christian Edition

Have you ever felt like a soda bottle that’s been shaken up? All that pressure builds inside until you feel like you might explode. Sometimes, you just need to talk it out. That’s where a good friend comes in. They can be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a wonderful source of advice and encouragement. It’s great to have people you can trust with your feelings.

But even with our closest friends, we need to be careful with our words. The Bible reminds us that "the tongue has the power of life and death" (Proverbs 18:21). When we vent, we want to make sure we are speaking life and not causing more harm to ourselves or others. God gave us friends to help carry our burdens, so let's explore the dos and don’ts of venting to a friend to share your feelings in a healthy way. 

Venting to a Friend the Right Way

Venting can be a good thing when it helps you process your feelings and find support. The goal is to share what's on your heart without falling into gossip or negativity. It’s about seeking comfort and wisdom, not just complaining. Thinking about your words before you speak can make a huge difference for you and your friend.

The Dos and Don’ts

Here are some simple dos and don'ts to help you vent in a way that honors God and your friendships.

What To Do:

• Pray first. Ask God for wisdom and a calm heart before you talk to your friend.

• Ask for permission. Start by saying, "Hey, I'm having a tough time. Do you have a moment to listen?"

• Focus on your feelings. Use "I" statements, like "I felt hurt when this happened," instead of blaming others.

• Seek solutions. Ask your friend for their thoughts on how you can handle the situation in a positive way.

What Not To Do:

• Gossip. Avoid sharing details that could hurt someone else's reputation. Ephesians 4:29 tells us not to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths.

• Vent when you're super angry. Take a few deep breaths to cool down first. Words spoken in anger can be very damaging.

• Make it a one-way street. Remember to ask how your friend is doing, too. Friendship is about supporting each other.

• Forget to be thankful. Thank your friend for listening. A little appreciation goes a long way.

Remember, sharing your struggles is part of being in a community. By venting to a friend with care, you can strengthen your relationship and find the support you need while still staying Christ-like.