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A Friends-First Approach to Christian Dating


A friends-first approach to Christian dating

Should you be friends first before dating? Perhaps. But it’s more of a personal preference than a Christian dating rule. Keep reading to learn how to navigate a friends-first approach to dating. 


What Does Friends First Mean in Dating?

"Friends first" in dating typically means getting to know each other on a platonic level before advancing into a romantic relationship. It's about establishing a foundation of friendship, where you share experiences and learn each other's stories without the immediate pressure of commitment. 


However, interpretations can vary, with some seeing it as a way to gauge potential attraction while others may use it to seek attention without the intention to date. Ultimately, the friends-first approach in Christian dating is about building a deeper connection that could potentially lead to a more meaningful and lasting relationship.


Do You Have to Be Friends First?

No, you don't necessarily have to be friends first before dating. It's perfectly okay to dive straight into dating if the chemistry and attraction are strong from the get-go. However, there are benefits to friends-first dating, such as having the opportunity to understand each other's personalities and quirks better, building a strong emotional connection, and reducing the pressure that often comes with romantic relationships. 


How to Date with a Friends-First Approach

Thinking about trying a friends-first approach to Christian dating? If so, here are a few ways to make the process smooth for you and the people you date.


  1. Develop Genuine Friendship: Focus on getting to know someone as you would any new friend. Engage in activities you both enjoy and have open, honest conversations about your interests, aspirations, and experiences.

  2. Be Clear About Your Intentions: While it's important to build a friendship first, it's equally crucial to communicate your potential interest in a romantic relationship. This prevents misunderstandings and ensures you’re both on the same page.

  3. Take Things Slow: Allow the relationship to progress naturally. Don't rush into romantic gestures or declarations of love. Let the comfort and trust that comes with friendship lead the way to romance.

  4. Maintain Boundaries: While navigating this path, it's essential to maintain boundaries that respect the friendship while also allowing room for potential romance. This could mean limiting physical affection or keeping certain topics off-limits until you're both ready to explore them.

  5. Assess Your Feelings: As your friendship deepens, take time to assess your feelings. Are they evolving from platonic to romantic? If so, it might be time to openly discuss taking things to the next level.

  6. Communicate Openly: If you decide to transition from friends to dating, clear communication is key. Discuss your expectations, fears, and hopes for the relationship to ensure a smooth transition.


Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. The friends-first approach isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to Christian dating, but it can provide a strong foundation for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

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Women and men cannot be friends without the one developing feelings for the other in most cases. Also, what does scripture say about finding a wife? First in every instance where it mentions the marriage process friendship is never mentioned. However, approaching the family, and later betrothal, then marriage is.

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