It can be difficult to realize your friends don't like the person you're dating. After all, your friends are an important part of your life, and you want them to be happy for you. You may feel caught in the middle and start to question your own judgment. Here are a few things to do if you find yourself in that situation.
1. Talk to Your Friends and Ask Questions
The first thing to do if your friends don’t like the person you’re dating is to find out why. And it’s essential to get specific–not just that they don’t like her “vibe” or he doesn’t seem trustworthy. Dive deeper and find out why they think those things about the person.
Maybe they don’t like your girlfriend’s vibe because she seemed standoffish when they first met. But you know it takes her a while to warm up to people and relax in social situations.
Maybe they don’t think your boyfriend is trustworthy because he was on his phone a lot when you were all hanging out. It might not be a reason to break up, but it is something worth talking about.
Whatever your friends’ reasons for not liking the person you’re dating, make sure to ask questions and listen to what they have to say. Try not to get defensive and instead be open-minded to hearing things from their point of view.
2. Consider Your Friends’ Opinions
Once you’ve had a chance to learn why your friends aren’t a fan of your boyfriend or girlfriend, take some time alone to consider their opinions. Reflect on their concerns, and determine for yourself if the concerns are valid or important to you.
Sometimes, it may be a matter of your friends not knowing the person well enough to see the full picture of who they are. It could just take some more time hanging out together for them to see what you see.
In other cases, your friends may see red flags that you didn’t notice before (or that you noticed but chose to ignore). Remember, your friends love you, care about you, and want the best for you.
3. Make Your Next Move
Just because your friends don’t like the person you’re dating doesn’t mean you have to break up with them. Ultimately, you should make the decision that's best for you. Your true friends will understand and support you no matter what.
If you think your friends are wrong about the person, you can ask them to spend more time getting to know your partner before deciding how they feel about them. Or, if you realize your friends are right, you can talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about the issues. Hopefully, they’d be willing to make adjustments for the relationship to last. But if they aren’t–or the red flags are too big to work through–you can let them down easy and then go hang out with your friends to ease the heartache.