One of the least enjoyable parts of Christian dating is breaking up. While there’s a chance your first match on Upward will be your forever person, that’s not always the case. More often than not, you’ll have to let someone (or a few people) down easily. Keep reading for our DOs and DON’Ts of Christian breakup etiquette to let someone down in a kind and respectful way.
1. DO Be Honest
Honesty is essential when breaking up with someone. While it can sometimes feel rude, there are ways to be honest without being hurtful. It all comes down to what you say and how you say it. For example, say you go out on a first date with someone you meet on a dating app. You find the person attractive and are excited to get to know them better. But after your date, you realize you aren’t attracted to their personality. That’s okay! And it’s nothing to feel bad about. You also don’t have to come straight out and tell someone that their personality sucks. You can be honest and say, “I don’t feel like our personalities mesh well together to form a lasting relationship.” It’s true, and it’s kind. It’s good Christian breakup etiquette.
2. DON’T Wait Too Long
While having the breakup conversation isn’t necessarily fun, it’s important to do it sooner rather than later. That way, the other person can start finding closure and moving on. This doesn’t mean you have to end the relationship as soon as the inclination hits you. You can sit with those feelings for a few days to ensure they’re valid and not just an emotional response. Once you are confident with your decision, have the conversation in person or over the phone (breakup texts still aren’t cool).
3. DO Let Them Share Their Feelings
Depending on how long you’ve been in a relationship with someone, a breakup might not always be quick and painless. In fact, it might be really painful for you and them. That’s why it’s important to create space for the other person to share their feelings on the matter if they want. Of course, you shouldn’t change your mind just because the other person is hurting. But hearing them out may give you both the closure you need to move on and find your forever person.
4. DON’T Ghost Someone
It’s just not nice. Whether you’ve been out on a few dates or have been in a committed relationship for months, don’t just disappear without reason. You may be wondering what Christian breakup etiquette is when you haven’t gone out on a first date with someone. You’ve simply chatted with them on a dating app, and you’re not in a relationship. Even still, don’t ghost the person. Ghosting–or disappearing without giving a reason–can be hurtful and unnecessary. Instead, simply be kind, honest, and open about no longer being interested in pursuing a relationship.