How To Get Better at Forgiveness in Friendship

Friendships are amazing… until they’re not. Maybe your friend said something that stung, forgot something important to you, or just let you down in a way that really hurt. It’s frustrating, and honestly, it’s tempting to just stay mad. But here’s the thing: holding onto that anger doesn’t actually help you. Forgiveness, though? That’s where the real healing happens. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. So, how do you actually get better at forgiveness in friendship? Let’s talk about it.

1. Understand Why Forgiveness Is a Big Deal

Forgiveness isn’t just about being the “bigger person.” It’s about reflecting the grace God has already shown you. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” That’s a lot to take in, but it’s also freeing. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what they did was okay — it’s about choosing to let go because God has already forgiven you.

2. Be Honest About What Hurt

You can’t forgive something if you’re pretending it didn’t bother you. Take a second to really think about what happened. Was it a broken promise? A snarky comment? A time they weren’t there for you? Ignoring it won’t make it go away; it’ll just sit there, festering. Write it down, pray about it, or talk to someone you trust. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God sees your pain, and He’s not brushing it off.

3. Talk to Your Friend (If You Can)

If it feels right, have a conversation with your friend. Be real about how you feel, but keep it kind. Instead of saying, “You always do this,” try, “I felt hurt when this happened.” It’s not about blaming them; it’s about being honest. And heads up: they might not respond the way you want. That’s okay. Forgiveness isn’t about their reaction; it’s about your choice to let go.

4. Pray for Them (Even If It’s Hard)

This one’s tough, but it works. Start small — ask God to help you forgive them. Then, when you’re ready, pray for good things in their life. It might feel weird at first, but over time, it softens your heart. Luke 6:28 says, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” It’s not easy, but it’s powerful.

5. Be Patient With Yourself

Forgiveness isn’t a one-and-done thing. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve moved on. Other days, the hurt might sneak back in. That’s normal. Keep bringing it to God, and don’t beat yourself up for struggling. Philippians 1:6 reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” God’s not done with you yet.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re saying what happened was fine, and it doesn’t mean you have to stay close to someone who keeps hurting you. It’s about choosing freedom over bitterness and trusting God to handle the rest.