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Do Opposites Really Attract?

We’ve all heard the saying… opposites attract. But is it really true? Is your perfect match someone who is different from you?

Not necessarily. In fact, there have been many scientific studies on whether opposites attract or birds of a feather flock together. And research suggests that people are more likely to be attracted to someone who is similar to them rather than different.

So, Who is Your Perfect Match if Opposites Don’t Attract?

If you’ve been basing your Christian dating strategy on the opposites attract theory, it may be time to switch things up. And it makes sense. You are more likely to feel comfortable and understood by someone who shares your values, beliefs, and outlook on life.

What’s more important than trying to figure out the method of finding your perfect mate is determining what’s most important to you.

  • Age: Does the person’s age and season of life work well and fit in with yours?

  • Career: Does the person’s work ethic and drive excite you?

  • Religious Beliefs: Does the person have the same or similar beliefs as you?

  • Values: Does the person hold the same values and standards when it comes to loyalty, communication, and trust?

  • Family: Does the person have the same vision for a family as you (i.e., do they want kids and, if so, when)?

  • Life Goals: Does the person have life goals that are similar or work well alongside yours?

  • Boundaries: Does the person have the same or similar boundaries as you–and are they willing to respect yours?

The foundation of a healthy, strong, long-lasting relationship depends on having some similarities in these key areas. Whether or not you’re both introverts or have similar hobbies is less important than whether you hold the same religious beliefs or both want a family. So, rather than looking for your opposite, it might be time to look for someone similar to you in areas that matter.

Of course, that’s not to say there aren’t any benefits of finding someone a little different than you. Dating someone who isn’t like you can teach you new things and get you outside your comfort zone. Their strengths may complement your weaknesses, and you may find you balance each other in important areas.

The Solution: Keep an Open Mind and Accept What Comes

Our recommendation? Don’t get caught up on whether or not opposites attract or birds of a feather flock together. Be yourself. Be honest about your values and what you want in a partner. And pursue people who seem like a good fit. Whether they end up being super similar to you or completely different, who they are at their core–their values, beliefs, dreams, and goals for their life–is what matters most.



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