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How to Stay Positive When Online Dating as a Christian

Online dating can be a great way to meet new people– hopefully, your forever person–but it can also be challenging, frustrating, and discouraging. Whether you try a secular dating site or a Christian dating app, like Upward, you might feel like it’s not worth your time, energy, and effort. If you’re struggling with online dating as a Christian, here are four tips to help you stay positive, enjoy the process, and keep an open heart and mind.



1. Set Realistic Expectations for Online Dating as a Christian

Wouldn’t it be nice if your first match was your only match because they ended up being the one? It sounds wonderful, and it’s definitely possible, but not very probable. To stay positive when online dating as a Christian, it’s important to set realistic expectations before you begin. For example:


  • It might take weeks or months to connect with a potential long-term partner.

  • “Christian” doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.

  • Getting to know someone on a deeper level takes time.

  • There is no perfect person out there–compromise is essential in any relationship.


When you start online dating as a Christian without the expectation of finding your perfect husband or wife on day one, it takes the pressure off you and the entire experience. It helps you remain positive because you know what to expect and makes connecting with an amazing person that much more exciting!

2. Give People the Benefit of the Doubt

Did you match with someone you’re interested in getting to know, but they haven’t messaged you? Don’t get discouraged too soon! If you don’t hear back from someone right away, there’s no need to expect the worst. It may take someone longer to reply, especially if they don’t use the app or dating site regularly. Keep in mind that people have lives outside of the digital dating world, and no response yet doesn’t mean no response ever.

3. Focus on the Good

If you want to stay positive while online dating as a Christian, it’s essential to focus on the good things. Just like it says in Phillippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” It’s important to remember the good things to stay positive when things aren’t going so well. For example, remind yourself that God knows you and created you with a desire to be in a relationship. He wants what is best for you and will guide you as you seek Him. God has a plan for you, and He will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Stay positive and keep trusting Him!

4. Stay True to Yourself

For your online dating experience to remain positive, you must remain true to yourself. As soon as you start compromising your values or not listening to your gut (aka your instincts, aka the Holy Spirit), you might find yourself in less-than-ideal situations. Situations that could end up tainting your entire online dating experience. To stay positive, you must remain true to who you are and what you want, even if it means the process takes a bit longer. It will be worth it when you finally connect with someone who is everything you prayed for and more!


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