With the plethora of potential matches out there, it can be hard to know if you’re with someone who is actually right for you or if you’re settling into a relationship with someone who doesn’t quite fit. If your gut is telling you something isn't quite right, take time to evaluate the situation. Look out for these key signs that’ll let you know if you’re settling when you deserve better.
1. You’re Looking Past Deal Breakers
If you promised yourself you’d only date a Christian, and the person you’re dating isn’t, you’re probably settling. If you said you’d never date a “partier” because it doesn’t align with your lifestyle, but the person you’re dating goes out every weekend, you’re probably settling. If you’re looking past any of your deal breakers and justifying them, it’s a telltale sign that the person isn’t right for you.
2. You Feel Pressured by External Timelines
If you want this person to be “the one” because you’re getting older and want to have kids before it’s too late, you’re probably settling. If you want this person to be “the one” because all your friends are getting married and you feel pressured to “keep up,” you’re probably settling. If you’re staying in the relationship because external pressures make you feel like you have to, there’s a good chance you’re settling for what’s in front of you because it’s easier than waiting for something better.
3. You are Trying to Change the Person
If you are constantly trying to change the person you’re dating, there’s a good chance it’s because they aren’t right for you. While nobody is perfect, you won’t feel the need to nitpick everything someone does when they’re compatible with you. If you feel you need to fix or change someone to make them more compatible, you’re probably settling.
4. You’re Afraid of Feeling Lonely
If the idea of breaking up with them scares you because you don’t want to be alone and lonely again, there’s a good chance you’re settling to avoid feeling uncomfortable. However, being single and alone is better than feeling unsatisfied and unhappy in a relationship. If you’re only with someone because it’s more comfortable than being single, you’re probably settling.
5. You’re Tired of Dating
If you’re sick and tired of the dating game, you may be settling for the person you’re with simply because you don’t want to redownload a dating app or go on another uncomfortable first date. While finding “the one” can be a long process, it’s worth the wait for someone who is right for you.