Do you have a dating checklist that is as long as a grocery receipt? It's easy to dream up a perfect partner, but those high expectations might actually be keeping you from finding someone special. It might be time to explore how you can identify and adjust your expectations to find a fulfilling relationship without settling for less than you deserve.
Ask Yourself the Right Questions
Before you can adjust your expectations, you need to understand them. Here are some questions to consider:
What are my absolute deal-breakers? Identify what truly matters to you in a relationship. Is it shared beliefs, a certain lifestyle, or something else? Prioritize these non-negotiables.
Am I expecting perfection? Remember, no one is flawless — not even you. Reflect on whether you're holding potential partners to impossible standards.
Do my expectations reflect reality? Consider if your expectations are based on movies or fairytales rather than real-life experiences.
These questions can help you figure out what’s really important and make sure you aren’t setting yourself up for relationship disappointment (or lack thereof).
Scripture Reminder: Embrace Contentment
Philippians 4:11 reminds us, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." This doesn't mean settling for less but rather being open to the beauty of imperfection and finding joy in the present. And above all, trust God with every aspect of your life, including your dating journey. Often, our unrealistic expectations can be a sign that we haven’t fully surrendered to God or trust in His perfect plan for our lives.
Practical Ways To Adjust Expectations
Adjusting expectations doesn't mean lowering your standards or settling. Instead, it's about aligning them with what's realistic and meaningful. Here’s how:
Focus on Values and Character: Instead of fixating on superficial traits, look for qualities that truly matter, like kindness, integrity, and a sense of humor.
Be Open to Different Possibilities: Sometimes, the best matches don't come in the package you expected. Stay open to different personalities and backgrounds.
Reflect on Your Own Growth: Recognize that just as you have evolved, your expectations might need to shift, too. Embrace personal growth and be willing to meet someone halfway.
Look To Others: Proverbs 19:20 advises, "Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise." Talk to trusted friends or happy couples who can provide perspective on what’s reasonable.
Balance Is Key
Finding love doesn't mean abandoning your core values or desires. It’s about balancing hope with realism and being flexible enough to embrace surprises. By doing so, you open yourself up to authentic connections that might just exceed your expectations. Remember, the goal is to find someone who complements your life beautifully, imperfections and all.
Loved this. So true. We are all a work in progress. The only perfect is Christ Jesus. Appreciate the insight.