What's Forgivable While Dating (and What's Not)?

Dating can be exciting, messy, and full of lessons. You’re getting to know someone, figuring out their quirks, and seeing how they align with your values. But what happens when they mess up? What should you forgive? And what’s too much to handle? Here’s the good news: everything is forgivable. Yes, everything (even cheating). But that doesn’t mean you ignore red flags or stay in situations that aren’t healthy.

God calls us to forgive, no matter what. Colossians 3:13 says to “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” That’s not always easy, but when you release that bitterness, you free your heart. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to stick around or continue dating someone.

What You Can Forgive

Some behaviors, while frustrating, are part of being human and figuring things out together. These things can often be forgiven as you grow together in a relationship:

Misunderstandings: People communicate differently. It’s easy to misread a text or take words the wrong way. Patience and clarity can solve this.
Small mistakes: Forgetting a date or canceling plans last minute (occasionally!) is forgivable. Life happens, and no one’s perfect.
Lack of experience: If they’ve never learned how to communicate feelings or handle conflict, it doesn’t mean they want to hurt you. Growth takes time.

If both of you are willing to work on these things, forgiveness can lead to a stronger connection.

What’s Harder To Forgive

Some actions are much bigger than a simple mistake. While you can forgive these things in your heart, it doesn’t mean the relationship should continue.

Dishonesty: If someone lies to you, especially about big things like their actions or intentions, trust can be hard to regain.
Disrespect: Whether it’s constant criticism, name-calling, or ignoring your boundaries, disrespect shouldn’t be excused.
Abuse or manipulation: These are never okay. You can still forgive them in your heart to release the pain, but staying in the relationship is not safe or healthy.

Jesus forgave even when people wronged Him deeply. But He didn’t ignore their actions. Forgiveness doesn’t require you to pretend something never happened.

Forgive, But Be Wise

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself as much as the other person. It’s about letting go of bitterness so you can find peace. But forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation every time. If there’s genuine repentance, evidence of real change, and you feel safe giving the relationship another chance, that’s your choice. But some things, though forgivable, aren’t redeemable for the relationship.

When you seek both God’s wisdom and grace in dating, you’ll find the clarity to forgive but also to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). And that’s something worth holding onto.